


The Convict goes to McDonalds

by Scomrose



Category: Enter the Gungeon (Video Game)
Genre: Arrest, Based off Dipper goes to Taco Bell, Blood and Gore, Emerging from bodies, Major character death tagged just in case, Masturbation, Murder, Mutilation, OC cameo, Orgasm, Self imploding, She's not called "The Convict" for no reason, Slow and painful death, Transformation, Unholy demon of a fanfic, Vomit and puke, law breaking, mcdonalds, why did I make this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:15:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scomrose/pseuds/Scomrose
Summary: Why on earth did I make this unholy beast? Enjoy this if you want, I sure didn't.





	The Convict goes to McDonalds

It was a normal day in the Gungeon (As normal as The Gungeon can get, anyway). Pilot was doing whatever, Bullet was looking up what normal NSFW content would be for gundead, Marine was sad nobody played him, Hunter was playing with Junior II, and Convict was thinking about the new McDonalds that was put up near the Gungeon

She did have a craving for fries in the last week, and she could not get some because of the whole “The-Gungeon-will-not-let-you-leave-until-you-kill-your-past-or-yourself-or-are-killed-by-another-gungeoneer” thing

“Hey, I’m going to the new McDonalds set up near here” she said, out loud

“Sure thing, as long as it...oh…” The Bullet replied, then finding themself interrupted by a very lewd image. Meanwhile, The Marine wondered what the hell she wanted to go there

“Why would you want to go there? You know what it does to your frame.” he protested

“Eh, I don’t know. Had a craving for fries for some reason” she responded

“Sure. Just don’t trip on the carpet on the way out” he finished off. The Convict then left, tripping on the carpet on the way out

“AH HA HA HA HA HA!” said The Bullet. They were laughing.

~~~

The Gungeon’s McDonalds looked just like a normal McDonalds, if you ignored the guns and bullets taped to it and that the “Mc” in it was badly replaced with “Gun”, making it be renamed “GunDonalds”. This was only a sign of bad things to come, but she still entered. The inside was somehow worse

Tables with bullet holes in them were half of the tables inside of it, even more guns and bullets were there, the menu only had fries and nothing else, dead bulletkin bodies were lying all over the place, and she had no idea if the cashier, a Gun Cultist, even had any idea what was going on, as it kept nervously looking at two bulletkin comforting a crying one, one of the non crying ones giving it a thumbs up.

“Uh… Hey… I’d li-” The Convict begun to say, before the shouting of the Gun Cultist interrupted her

“WELCOME TO GUNGEON MCDONALDS. ONLY SERVE FRIES” it shouted

“Sure, okay, I’d like f-”

“YOU WANT FRIES?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was ab-”

She then got some fries chucked at her by it, and then she took a good long look at them. Three quarters of them looked burnt, there was a gun thrown in for some reason, and the non-burnt ones looked undercooked.

She still sat down at one of the tables and started eating nonetheless

As she ate one of them, she noted that despite their looks, they tasted amazing. They had the perfect amount of salt and taste, and they mixed with her saliva like water and salt, as they blended into a mix that she swallowed. They looked burnt and undercooked, with a random gun for a side, but they were perfect.

She continued eating, until she realized she bit into the gun and her teeth hurt now. Coming back to her senses, she realized she had a grumbling in her stomach. She know just what she had all of a sudden.

“Seriously? Diarrhea? What was in those fries…”

~~~

She got up and walked to the bathrooms, expecting them to be gun filled. But she noticed that it was spotless, not a gun in sight! She then saw a bulletkin with a large back burn leave a stall after mopping it up while holding a black plastic bag, said mop bucket filled with some blood that split out

“What the bullet hell are you looking at?” It snarled, and walked out. It was only a omen of bad things to come.

She walked into the cell opposite to it, and realized that to use the toilet, she had to strip naked. Sighing, she took off all her clothes, even her bra, and realized that she had already begun to poop.

“Goddammit…” she sighed, and finished up the job her body begun by sitting on the toilet and letting the rest of it come out.

However, as it happened and her poop filled the toilet, she felt something emerge from her vaggy. It was a clear liquid, and it smelt rather bad. Of course, The Convict knew what it was. Her soil. Either the fries or her poop aroused her, and now she was putting her hand down to it and begun to stroke it.

“O-Oh….” She began to moan

At first, she moved her fingers along the edges, stroking them, but now she was tunneling in at full force, stroking her clit and fiddling with it. To do this harder and better, she imagined her love but naked, her breasts on hers and her own fingers digging into her core, going harder and harder

“A-Ah, harder!” She cried out, moaning as her fingers dug into the very depths of her private parts, fingers covered in the clear liquid that came from it.

She had no idea where she was, all that mattered was her pleasuring herself, high off arousal. The liquid of her pleasure had enough waiting, and then jumped out, squirting out in inhuman amounts like a sprinkler. She stuck her tongue out and drank some, and it was the best thing she had tasted, ever better than the fries, as she still moaned from the orgasm

“A-A-Ahhhhhhhhhh!” She then moaned as she finished, the clear liquid staining the walls. The Convict fell back onto the toilet seat, vaggy still oozing the liquid and still slightly moaning from how horny her mastubation adventure made her. But soon, her pleasure would fade.

She jumped back up as she begun gagging on something, mouth forcing open to reveal yellow and brownish-yellow streams of vomit, hints of red dancing among it. She woke up from her trance of sexual pleasure, vaggy still dripping, and fell to the ground as the puke fell out like a waterfall.

As the puke fell, it coated her body in a brownish-yellow, the streaks of red complimenting it well. As more and more emerged from her mouth, it got redder and redder, like it needed to get the blood out of her body. After a bit, it ended, puke still on her as she noted that she had a feeling inside of her, like something was crawling out of her.

Of course, she was more pissed off than when she was sent to space jail. _Of course, those fries were laced with something!_ She thought as she grabbed a knife that was lying on the ground, ready to murder the fry cook.

~~~

Some random Gun Cultist was making the fries, looking around as it slipped some mysterious liquid into the fryer. The Convict failed to see it, and jumped at it, holding a knife.

“You have a knife? How dumb a-” It started to say, with a smug tone to it’s voice, before it was cut off via it’s own screams, the knife it hated being plunged into its forehead. It started at the wound, eyes twitching as it slowly perished, before turning back to her as it’s eyes curled into it’s head, slowly dying.

She would never give it peace, though.

With the knife as sharp as a knife, she dug around it’s bald-but-not-as-bald-as-scum-egg’s head, and begun to skin it as it slowly perished. First, she skinned it’s head, pulling off the top as blood poured from both her new cool hat and the dying body she took it from. Then, with a bit of digging, she diced off it’s nose.

Now it was time for her favorite part. Reading her blood-coated knife, she shoved it into the dead body’s closed right eye, twisting it around a little, listening to the squishing noise it made as it dug around, before ripping it out, all with the most bloodthirsty smile on her face. Blood was covering her and the puke on her, but she barely cared.

Doing the same to the other eye, she moved down to its body, and stripped it down to nothing. First, she sawed off it’s weiner completely, leaving no trace of it there, not even the ornaments it had. Now that they were gone, she could move on. Holding the body steady, the knife was plunged into the left shoulder, and she got ready to saw the arm off

Or, she almost got ready.

She felt the stomach pains come back, and they were even stronger, like her body was being ripped apart. She stepped back to look over her body, before seeing what looked like her skin and muscle getting peeled off her body together. Screaming in pain and fright, she fell to her knees, blood pouring from her mouth and eyes

“Someone, help mgrgughghhg!!” She cried out in pain, her cries weakened by the blood that was steadily pouring out from her mouth

In agony, her body fell to the ground as it convulsed, the blood now making a pool that stained her skin and the floor, her former bloodthirst grin caved into a face of agony. She tried to close her eyes, and pray that she was dreaming, and she would soon be back at The main Gungeon with her friends _and Hunter she would see her again she knew it she would she knew so she was dreaming this was a nightmare this was fake she knew so_

Her body them imploded upon itself, blood, skin and organs staining the kitchen and coating the walls. The room was now stained a deep red, organs and skins as decorations, like it was a birthday party with lots of gore as a theme. Where The Convict was now was a small bulletkin, with blue eyes, a small dash of yellow on it’s tip, and scars on its face.

Said bulletkin slowly regained consciousness, getting to its feet as it investigated its body. Looking over it’s form, it’s expression turned from confusion to pure, raw terror.

_Oh._ it thought, revealing it to be The Convict turned into one. _That’s what was in those fries… T-This can’t be re-_

Her thoughts were cut short by a loud bang, a wall breaking down as the Trigger Twins, Shades and Smiley broke down the wall like the Kool-Aid man. But without Kool-Aid, and instead they had guns.

“You’re under arrest by the law of Kailber, Almighty Gun Goddess, for using a bladed weapon in this holy Gungeon!” they shouted at the same time, handcuffing The Convict, who had no time to react as she was soon imprisoned

~~~ A few hours later… ~~~

“Hmm? Thought there was no cell on this floor…”

The Pilot had killed The Gorgun, and looked over her stoned renaims. Nearby it was a golden key, like the ones that he would use to free someone. He picked it up, and decided to look further into this. Last time he went Gungeon-diving, he noted that when he was back to Breach, there was no Convict.

Was she captured by the gundead?

Walking back though the Gungeon Proper, he noted that in the shop, there was a door he never opened. Entering the room, he heard someone that sounded a ton like her mumbling to herself, before getting silent by the time he unlocked the cell and they looked each other dead in the eyes.

Convict sighed to herself as she took a deep breath.  
She had lots to explain.


End file.
